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Hey, Hey, HEY! It’s not your birthday!

Posted by Erin (and sometimes The Todd) on Aug 28, 2009 in Erin's Diatribes/The Todd's Tastes

It required moving out of Utah and working in radio elsewhere for a decade to realize that we in the Mountain West are a collective group of gropers.

Not in a really bad way–usually–but I still remember moving back from Virginia and getting trapped in a headlock of a hug almost immediately. And that was from a gas station attendant. I got back into the grope-ey kind of mode and was fine with it until I had the twins. Every mother will agree with me here. Your children paw at you. They hang on you. They head-butt you and split your lip with all the fond affection of a professional wrestler. And you let them.

But the continued mauling from my Zachie and MacLean has made me much less willing to let anyone else touch me. I realized this yesterday when I was filming a commercial for something called “Nutriflakes” (all I can tell you is that it has 53 essential vitamins and minerals, that’s the only thing I can remember from the script.) The director took one look at me and hissed to the makeup artist, “trowel on the concealer!” He then jabbed at a couple of wrinkles around my eyes and said, “what about THESE?” with the same tone you’d use on a bag of chicken that went bad in the bottom drawer of the fridge. They discussed the distressing issue of my Sharpei-like countenance as she shoved me into the makeup chair and had at it.

I usually ignore this part…but there was something about the way she was jabbing the mascara wand that made me wonder I was going to keep the vision in my left eye. I finally seized it away and with a big, fake smile said, “I can do this and save you some time!” I got through wardrobe and onto the set where the sound guy promptly shoved his hand down my bra. “Hey, hey, HEY!” I slapped his hand, “back off! It’s not your birthday!”

Exasperated sigh–”I’m TRYING to position your body mike.”

“I know that!” I hissed, “I’ll do it myself!”

This immediately showed the crew what a RUBE I am. Every cool, with-it tv person lets staff swarm over them like bees, picking, tucking, nipping and clipping. I then reared back like a startled horse when the director came at me to kiss me on the lips. Lip-kissing is another big tv thing. The Todd is pretty much the only person I like to kiss my mouth…which is also unfashionable because two of the girls on set tried to lip kiss me goodbye, too. The security guard went to hug me on the way out.

I was wiping off the worst of the foundation/blush/silly putty mixture when The Todd came home. “How did it go?” he asked, leaning in for a kiss. I’m pretty sure I looked like a King Cobra ready to go after a mongoose. “Don’t TOUCH me!” I shrieked. “Back off, Mr. Roaming Hands and Rushing Fingers!” (Editor’s note: that was a reflex shriek from something they made us practice in Young Ladies Club, where if a gentleman made an untorward advance, we were supposed to tartly reply, “You’ve got Russian Hands and Roman Fingers, and I don’t like foreigners!” Miss Delores will be delighted to know that her efforts were not in vain, particularly since I spent most of my time in Young Ladies sniggering at words like “untorward.”) The Todd went into a kind of a crouch and backpeddaled away from me like a hermit crab in the middle of a seizure.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate genuine affection…but all this kissy-gropey-huggy business is ruining me for the real thing–sweet kisses from my Zachie, the scream and neck-strangle-hug from my MacLean, and the long-armed all-enveloping embrace of my dear husband. You know, the same one who’s now flinching back protectively every time I walk by.
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More organic coupons!

Posted by Erin (and sometimes The Todd) on Aug 28, 2009 in Unfiled Stuff

$5.00 in Cascadian Farms coupons when you sign up for their newsletter! http://www.cascadianfarm.com/coupons/Default.aspx

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30% off Lane Bryant

Posted by Erin (and sometimes The Todd) on Aug 28, 2009 in Unfiled Stuff

Now through Sunday, you can take advantage of the Lane Bryant Friends and Family Sale, 30% off, baby! http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/click?id=xAwO21lyZLU&offerid=79295.10000340&type=4&subid=0

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30% off on Lucky Brand jeans…

Posted by Erin (and sometimes The Todd) on Aug 28, 2009 in Unfiled Stuff

…since your kids burned through all their new fall ensembles for the first week of school, this sale comes just in time. (It’s times like these that make me grateful that I have kids in uniforms for school!) You can save 30% off everything* at Lucky Brand now through September 7th. Plus free shipping on all Lucky shoe orders! Shop online with code 9SEPFRND or in store with a copy of this COUPON.

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Umi Shoes on sale!

Posted by Erin (and sometimes The Todd) on Aug 28, 2009 in Unfiled Stuff

These are amazing shoes for toddlers–especially when gravity is not quite your friend, it’s nice to have some sturdy shoes. Cute, too! Umi shoes is offering a deal–now you can get 30% off plus free shipping on any order! Use code dailycandy30 at the checkout to get the savings. Valid thru September 3rd.

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How about a backpack all pre-stocked with school stuff?

Posted by Erin (and sometimes The Todd) on Aug 28, 2009 in Unfiled Stuff

If you’ve got a Top Foods in your area, they’ve got a nice little offer this week: buy a back pack for $9.99 and it comes filled with school supplies (its a $21.00 deal!). Back packs come in Blue or Pink, and come filled with:

1″ view binder
Top Flight filler paper 150 ct
Top Flight Notebook
Wood ruler
Academix pink erasers 2 pk
Academix pencil 10 ct
Academix Pencil Sharpner
Crayola Crayons 8 ct Go here for details.
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Is your daughter traumatized by her lack of back to school fabulousness?

Posted by Erin (and sometimes The Todd) on Aug 28, 2009 in Unfiled Stuff

Justice for Girls has a pile of discounted fall stuff already, and here’s a 40% off deal to make it easier. Go here and use code 779 at checkout to receive your 40% off!

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Old Navy Weekly Site Navigation Clues

Posted by Erin (and sometimes The Todd) on Aug 28, 2009 in Unfiled Stuff

We’ve got a huge event coming up this week with our radio show, so I’ve not slept for like, three days. I passed out last night just before Old Navy Weekly.com updated, but there’s still plenty of high-value coupons left.

$65 off $100 – Click on Wesley’s picture in the bottom, to the left of where it says “Wesley’s Winning Looks” – hearts will appear above the picture. Click on the first heart that appears (which is the biggest) – they will go fast!
$45 off $100 – Top left – Click on the necklace that the girl w/brown sweater is wearing. Then quickly click on the open compact she is holding in her hand.
$10 off $50 – On the bottom left, you will see a sign that says “Item of the week” – below that you will see a sign that changes and says “text updates” and “special offers”. Click it when it says “special offers”. A question will appear, asking what the item of the week was last week and click “cargo pants”.
Buy men’s & women’s item, get 20% – Click on Kelly’s blue & white sweater twice (on left side w/blonde hair)
15% off when you buy a men’s item – In the upper right hand corner, take the red cube of chalk in the background and put it on the end of the tall cue stick on the right.
5% off when you buy any yellow item- Go to top middle picture and take the ketchup bottle and move it to the hot dog sign. Put the ketchup bottle on the hot dog.

Candy, one of my favorite budget fiends, is taking pity on us all and offering one of her $45.00 off $100.00 purchase coupons to give away. Just add yourself as a follower (it takes 2 minutes, I’ve timed it!) We’ll give it away on Monday. Happy hunting!
As always, the Queen of the Blogosphere for all things Old Navy is Thrifty Northwest Mom, one of my most-admired women ever!
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Free craft activity at Lakeshore!

Posted by Erin (and sometimes The Todd) on Aug 28, 2009 in Unfiled Stuff

Bring the kids to your local Lakeshore Learning Store Saturday to make this cute nameplate–I love this store, it’s always cheaper. Thanks, One Cheap Chick!http://www.lakeshorelearning.com/general_content/store_locations/storeCrafts.jsp?ASSORTMENT%3C%3East_id=1408474395181113&bmUID=1250286535563

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Free Chocolate Friday!

Posted by Erin (and sometimes The Todd) on Aug 28, 2009 in Unfiled Stuff

Heard a rumor that the Mars Candy Company was going to discontinue this offer, so order your free candy coupons now: https://secure.realchocolate.com/

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