Don’t Hate Me For My Celebrity Lifestyle, Part 3,002
Sooo, The Todd is out of town on a fishing trip. I have to host the Wine and Cheese Festival at the Sundance Resort–you know, Bob’s place. (Editor’s note: they do not call Robert Redford “Robert” at the ski resort he owns–all things are started by: “you know, that’s Bob’s favorite wine.” Or, “Bob prefers the scallops.” My MacLean accidently gave me a massive head-butt while swimming, so I have a cut on the bridge of my nose and a black eye that makes me look like I’ve been in a bar fight.
I wiggle (thank God for Spanx!) into a cocktail dress, go down and host the thing. I come back to my white-faced nanny, who is pointing dramatically at the backyard. Apparently, The Todd set out rat traps before going on his trip, and two of the traps…well…tripped. I teeter out in my 3 inch heels and Vera Wang cocktail dress to clean up the rats. One has been there a couple of days and is…juicy. See evidence.
While balancing in my 3 inch heels, I fall into the rat. I’m now power-gulping a glass of wine and trying to figure out what cleaner will accept a dress covered in juicy rat.
was there a cocktail dangling from your little paws as you bent to clean up the rat while wearing the 3 inch heels and tight dress? drinkypoos! that may be the problem right there, darling!
Nope. I never drink at an appearance–even at a wine festival! Something about DUI's, ending up in a ditch, killing someone else…naw. Although falling into the rat sober would not have been my first choice.