Please God, Don’t Let Me Cry Right Now Like The Massive Weenie That I Am…
…that’s all I could think on the bus ride Friday for our school’s Ski Club. The kids were snarfing granola bars and the whole bus reeked of wet wool socks and orange peels. I was busy wrestling the boots off a first-grader when two heads popped over the seat in front. “We had the ‘kids getting hurt video’ today.” said Alex in a conversational way. It took me a minute to remember that he was discussing the abuse prevention video that I’d signed a permission slip for. Ally, one of the teachers, had to hide in the hallway so the kids wouldn’t see her cry. “It was intense,” she moaned. “Age appropriate for the kids but totally not for me!” The third graders were serious but not frightened, she said.
I fell back on my head-shrinking roots and parrotted my psychiatrist dad’s favorite phrase. “How did that make you feel?”
“It’s okay.” mumbled Charles.
“Just okay?” I said, swallowing hard. “Any…any questions?” I could feel the perspiration pooling in my turtleneck. I’m the Queen of Flop Sweat.
“Well,” said Alex, “one of the kids in the video got hurt. Really bad. He said he was scared to tell anyone.”
Back sweat was suddenly the least of my problems. “So, what did the video tell you to do?”
Charles was first, “we were supposed to find a Safe Adult and tell them someone was trying to hurt us.”
“That’s right!” I praised, “exactly!”
Alex chimed in and ruined my clean getaway. “How do we know it’s a Safe Adult? What if we thought the adult hurting us was safe?”
My stupid, weenie, blubbering mommy self was one tear duct away from a full meltdown. “A…a Safe Adult is someone who listens to you when you talk about anything, funny or serious. A Safe Adult keeps their promises to you.”
Alex thought about this. “Would you be my Safe Adult?”
“Don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry you massive weenie!” I thought as I hugged him and said “of course I am your Safe Adult!”
I was not prepared for the reality that when I became a mother to our twins, every child became my child. Stories of abuse and neglect that were before upsetting were now unspeakable. The abuse prevention video is good. It is good that the third graders at our school know to find a Safe Adult. I went home and cried in our walk in closet because any child would have to.
Parent or not, I hope every one of us will become someone’s Safe Adult.
I completely agree with you on this one. I have 3 kids who are now almost all bigger than me but I still worry about them and pray every day that they will never “Need” to find a “Safe Adult”. In my church I am in charge of over 100 children and I love them all like they were my own. I pray for them all every day, too. How can we not carry on in our stewardship without being positive for them when they have to face ALL THIS HORRIBLE STUFF on a continuous daily basis and try to be happy in their own little ways? Bless all of you who are “Safe Adults”.
You know what a sqwish I am , I agree with the Safe adult All of Caties friends know that they can come to me for anything fom needing snow boots to lunch money to all the serious stuff. It is important to help at school at sports events church anywhre your child spends time and get to know the kids and parents. then you have a little more awarenes and a lot more contact o you can be th safe adult when caled apon.and help preventthe need for your child to need a safe adult.I wold hope that the open dialog that I have with my child will continue for our whole lives.
Steph–you are God’s chosen. I am so glad you are there for those little people to count on! I just hate that we could be this far in human evolution without everyone treasuring our kids. You rock as a Safe Adult!
Kimmy–I love you. I hope I’ll be half the mother you are one day.