Guest Post–New Baby Necessities

The first thing I did when The Todd and I decided to adopt our amazing little Zoe was call my sisters.  After the initial thrill, I realized We. Had. NOTHING.  Geez, the twins are 10!  And when our beautiful Baby Mama went into labor 4 days early, I called Juli and Jenne again, screaming “we have NOTHING!”  Thanks to the serious Shopping Ninja Skills of my sisters, we were totally hooked up by the time Zoe came home.  One of the nice things about having little ones is realizing what is crucial and what items are  a waste of the money that should be going into the kiddo’s college fund.  If you don’t have a sister to tell you what to do, take into consideration Juli’s brilliant advice.  Please welcome a new contributor to That Went Well, my far more clever sister Juli Ulvestad:

BABY NECESSITIES for the first three months – according to Juli, anyway…

Stuff to put on the baby:

*     Diapers – either 2 dozen cloth diapers and 8 covers or a package of newborn size disposables.  Think about getting a cloth diaper service for the first three months so you don’t have to wash them, nor do you run out and have to run and get a package at an inconvenient time.

*     Diaper wipes – either 2 dozen plain white washcloths or a box of disposable diaper wipes

*     Don’t need – diaper rash goo, baby powder, diaper changing table (just change him on a towel on the floor, bed, couch, etc.)

*     Undershirts – 6 snap-front ones until cord heals, then 1 dozen onesies.  They wear these under everything until summer.

*     Jammies – 8-12 all in one stretchy jammies, more or less depending on how often you do the wash and how often you feel like dressing him up.  Most babies wear jammies almost full time.

*     Socks – 9 pairs, easy to deal with if they’re all the same, they wear these under everything until summer, and they kick them off and lose them constantly.

*     Cotton hats – 2-3 since you’ve gotta cover the little melon at all times, even indoors, for the first few weeks.

*     2-4 outfits of dress up clothes for when you feel ambitious and want him looking really cute.  He will barf on these immediately and send you screaming home from the pediatrician’s office or wherever.

*     Fleece bunting – all in one coat that has a hood, folds over hands and feet, and zips all the way up.

*     Flannel receiving blankets – 6 or so are really handy for swaddling them into a secure little package for the first week or two, then use as burp cloths, towels, general use rags forever.

*     Don’t need– drawstring gowns, shoes, wooly hats and mittens, special baby detergent (just use regular detergent without big perfume and no fabric softener).

*     Baby shampoo – a big bottle of a tear-free kind, use sparingly to wash entire baby.

*     Vaseline – put on the little willy to keep it from sticking to the diaper until the circumcision heals, put on various odd dry patches that show up, flaky scalp and so forth

*     Don’t need – special baby soaps and lotions, Q tips (unless they don’t give you stuff to clean the umbilical stump and then you use a Q tip and rubbing alcohol), baby nail clippers (either bite nails off or use small sewing scissors, nasal aspirators (they give you one at the hospital, and you don’t use it much unless the baby gets snotty from colds), baby bathtub (just wash him on the counter on top of a big, folded fluffy towel when he’s little and floppy, then in the kitchen sink or in the bath with you when he’s older).

Stuff to haul the baby around:

*     Car seat – spend serious time and money on this one.  Research the top-rated ones, and make sure you install it properly.  I’d get an infant seat with a base that stays in the car and snaps into the seat in addition to a larger convertible seat.  The infant seat lasts until about 25 lbs (about 1 year) and has a carrying handle so you can haul a sleeping baby in and out without waking them.  Plus it doubles as a baby seat for a safe place to put the baby down inside the house – like sitting on the bathroom floor while you take a shower or in the kitchen while you cook dinner.  You can just skip to the convertible seat and buy that right away since it can face forward and backward and then there’s less gear to manage.

*     Don’t need – car seat headrest (just prop a wobbly head with a rolled up receiving blanket), car window shades, toys that dangle from car seat handles.

*     Diaper bag – you can just use something you already have, it doesn’t have to have special diaper compartments or anything.  Definitely go the messenger bag or backpack route because it’s easier to keep your balance while hauling baby and baby stuff around.

*     Front carrier & sling – somewhat redundant, but as we’ve discussed, front carriers feel more secure for walks and such, slings are much more flexible for lots of in-and-out holding and different holds, plus discreet nursing.  The Baby Bookby Sears & Sears has the best chapter on using the sling I’ve found.

*     Don’t need– umbrella stroller, huge carriage, car seat that converts to stroller (stupid little wheels!  Ack!)

Places to stash the baby:

*     Crib or other safe place to sleep – you can either have the baby sleep at night in your bed (aka co-sleeping or family bed), or buy a crib.  If you get a crib, make sure the slats are no more than 1.75” apart, there’s nothing sticking out that he could catch himself on, it’s not painted with lead based paint, and the mattress is firm and fits in the frame with absolutely no gap.  Get 2-3 fitted crib sheets and 2-3 warm crib size blankets.  A mobile for above the crib is nice but not necessary, just make sure the mobile faces down at the baby rather than at you.  The main thing is that the baby sleeps as close to you as possible.  If you can set up the crib so it butts up against your bed and the rail is down so you feel like you’re sleeping together but you’re not worried about something silly like squishing him, that works well.

*     Don’t need– bassinet, crib mattress pad, waterproof sheets, crib dust ruffle, bumper pads, pillows, thick quilts, toys (especially for the first three months), bouncy seat, exersaucer or walker, bouncer, swing (although sometimes this is a godsend for a high-maintenance baby).  This is where I really thought the infant car seat and the sling came in handy; the baby can be wherever you are, sleeping or awake, hands free.  As he gets older, throw down a crib blanket on the floor and let him roll around.

Stuff to feed the baby:

*     Bottles – get 2-3 with good nipples and ergonomic shapes (I like Avent)

*     Breast pump – small electric one.  Check out the ratings and get a double one if you can afford it.  Much quicker. 

*     Nursing bras – 3-6 good ones without underwires, open and close flaps easily (Jenne and I like Bravado).  Flexible for sizes is a plus for the beginning, but be sure to get them so they’ll fit you a couple cups sizes bigger than you are now.  You may not even need special bras after a while;  it’s not that big of a deal to yank up a regular bra and go for it.

*     Don’t need– disposable bottle liners, nipple cream (rub in breast milk, air dry), nursing pads (you may not have leaky boobs, so just use small squares of soft cloth at first, then only buy some if you need them after the first 2 weeks or so), nursing pillows or stools, bibs, baby food or cereal (wait until he’s 6 months old, start with baby cereal, then just feed him bland, smooshed up people food), special dishes or utensils.

Miscellaneous:

*     Binky – you may or may not want to try out a binky.  They’re lifesaving with a baby that wants to nurse more than 24 hours a day, but they can cause a host of issues such as not being able to sleep or calm down if they can’t find it, binky addiction when they need to give it up, the occasional binky rash around the mouth, etc.  I like Mam if you decide to try it.

*     Toys – babies don’t do much with toys.  I wouldn’t bother getting many/any.  They prefer your stuff.  Give him a wire whisk, put something noisy in a plastic container he can’t get open, hang up pictures of faces (especially baby faces) everywhere he can see, try out Tamara’s “sniff the extracts” game, mount a mirror on the wall at floor level so he can admire his fabulousness.

*     Books – you can’t have too many books.  Get lots of board books for him to gnaw on and read to himself, especially those with realistic pictures and photos and simple words and phrases rather than stories.  Read him whatever fabulous stories you like, whenever you think of it.  Books on tape are great. 

*     Music – you can get a music box that clips onto the crib or put a stereo in his room and play him soothing music.  It’s a great way to get to get them to sleep.  Try all kinds of mellow music (My Jake and Emily especially liked Enya – something far too boring to listen to during the day).

*     Rocking chair – something comfy to sit for hours and nurse, calm a cranky baby or just gaze at his splendor.  Not mandatory, but handy.

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