But the real reason I refuse to ride in the shiny red truck is I’m always afraid that I’ll turn around and find a bag of lime and a shovel just as The Todd happily annouces, “hey, honey, let’s take a drive in the desert!”

We’ve been married 14 years, The Todd and I, and I still can’t stop myself from messing with him.  There’s been years of yammering from mental health professionals about Honesty, Tolerance, Understanding.  And then a bunch more stuff about Open Communication.  I tend to ignore it because at the end of the day, when The Todd wants me to do something I resent, I’m going to make him pay for it. 

Like the Bitboard Report.  We belong to an idea sharing service with a bunch of other equally shiftless morning radio show “personalities.”  (Editor’s note: trust me, I use the word “personality” very loosely.  Particularly in our case.)  We share ideas–mostly stuff we want to try but aren’t sure it will work so we post it and let someone else do it first to see if it fails horribly.  I am the designated reporter for this task, primarily because The Todd is dyslexic and it’s plain mean to make the man figure out how to construct a paragraph based on “what former US President most closely resembles your birthmark?”

But I hate doing it.  I’m sorry.  I like to write.  I just don’t like to write it.  So everytime The Todd reminds me “hey, have you put in the Bitboard report?  We don’t want to get banned from the site for another week, do we?”  I feel a tsunami of resentment overtake me that makes me forget that my kindly partner of 14 years is the father of my children and the captain of my heart.  I want instead to abandon him for James Purefoy (when he was really hot as the enigmatic king in “The Knight’s Tale”) and leave him with the mortgage, the twins and that patch of throwup I didn’t get to in MacLean’s bedroom.

I throw the magazine I’m reading across the room and flounce angrily to the computer.  I pound out the report with the same ferocity one would use to hammer a stubborn chicken breast.  As I furiously hit the “send” button, I throw back the chair like Harriet Tubman breaking free of her chains on that Mississippi plantation.  I stalk past the enticing dinner plate The Todd has prepared by way of appeasement and hiss “I’m going to bed!”  When my exhausted spouse has fallen asleep, I resentfully creep downstairs to heat up the leftovers and eat them all.

Why do we do this?  Oh, don’t look at me like that.  Maybe you are one of the, like, 3 enlightened people in the Universe who don’t rear back like a cobra when nagged into doing something annoying.  But every one of my girlies admits to the same futile rage.  Did we never grow up?  Do we all still think Daddy (or Mommy, like the guys are immune from this) is yelling at us to wash the dishes? 

A clever Dr. Mike Sawdell says this: I know people like this, and it appears to me that there are certain “triggers” that set them off. Triggers they would usually tolerate or ignore with strangers or casual acquaintances, but which essentially make them lose control of themselves when in contact with people who are close to them. These people, after a period, recognized that they went over the top for no sensible reason, and apologise later on.

If you’re able to recognize (a) the exact moment you started to get angry (b) the exact thing that made you start to get angry (c) that you are throwing a hissy fit at this very moment, then simply leaving the scene, taking some deep breaths, and thinking about what the hell just happened may help you solve the problem and learn something about yourself.

Oh, FINE.  But, Dr. Sawdell had this to say as well: there’s huge pressure for women to act “nice” all the time, and to take every else’s feelings into consideration before expressing your own emotions… I think the ways in which women get angry are different from the ways men get angry, and those angers are viewed very differently from those around us.  You can keep a lid on a boiling pot for only so long.  Start trying to figure out what’s turning up the heat on your own personal emotion gauge.

Better.  Let me know if this helps.  For me, it’s either work on it, or you’ll be looking for a suspicous mound of freshly turned desert sand for me.

Thanks, Deal Seeking Mom!

The Gap’s

Sneaky inside tip: if you’re using your Gap card enter MYCARD at checkout for free-bee shipping.

Save $16.00 when you buy “New Moon,” “Twilight In Forks,” “Astro Boy,” and “Band Slam” together.

Sneaky inside tip: Or…save $10.00 by buying 3.  Save $5.00 by buying 2.  Save $3.00 when buying “Astro Boy” or “Twilight in Forks.”

Want ‘em?  Oh, I know you do!  Go here to print your coupons. 

Sneaky inside tip #2: Here’s the first full trailer for “Twilight Saga: Eclipse.”  Maybe that’ll hold you off ’till the real thing.  And look!  Jacob seems to have misplaced all of his shirts again!  

$1.50 off 2 boxes of Kelloggs cereal

$1.00 off Sara Lee Deli Lunch Meat

$1.00 off Promise spread

.55 off Earthgrains bread

$2.00 off Centrum Cardio vitamins

$3.00 off Monistat treatment

$2.00 off Prevacid

$1.00 off Slim Jim jerky

$1.00 off Glen Oaks pro-biotic drinks

BOGO free Meaty Bone Dog Biscuits

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Todd here. If I have done anything for you over the years this one thing is what you will remember me for. St Patrick’s Day is coming, and if you are doing the whole corned beef and cabbage deal as we do here it is: Mary Helen’s (Erin’s mom) Magnificent Mustard Custard Sauce. I swear I could bathe in this. (Make triple this recipe–you are going to need it)
2 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp plain yellow mustard
1/2 tsp salt
2 eggs
6 tbsp white vinager
4 tbsp water
Low heat stir till thickened. Next time you see me I expect a hug, but don’t make it weird.

You will die when you taste this sauce. Seriously. Have a medic standing by.

Erin again: this is my wonderful husband (on the left) in his kilt–he’s a MacLean of Duart, I’m a Fraser of…uh…Fraser.  My brother-in-law Bill (on the right) just likes wearing skirts.  Really, more than I’m comfortable with, but, you know…

Hey, kids:  if you’re interested in this opportunity, there’s only 24 slots left.  Just want you to get in if you’re excited about the chance.

Pinecone Research is hands-down my best survey opportunity.  They pay promptly, the surveys are actually interesting–you’re analyzing new marketing ideas–and most of the time they send me the product to try out!  They’re allowing me to offer 100 new openings.  If you’re in the 18-24 age range, you’re nearly guaranteed a spot.  Don’t waste any time, this is definitely worth applying for here.

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Thanks, The Freebie Blogger!

Wow–Hasbro Games just released $138.00 in coupons, some of these will make sale items free-bees.  Take a look:

$10.00 off Chuck My Talking Truck

$10.00 off Tonka Bonce Back Racer

$10.00 off Monopoly Electronic Edition

$5.00 off Monopoly Regular Edition

$5.00 off Bop It! Game

$4.00 off Twister

$4.00 off Clue

$5.00 off Operation

$5.00 off Elefun

$5.00 off Hungry Hungry Hippos

$5.00 off any Iron Man 2 purchase of $20.00 or more

$5.00 off any Star Wars purchase of $20.00 or more

There’s several more excellent choices here as well. 

 Sneaky inside tip: pair these with some great sales this week at Target.   

Sneaky inside tip #2: use your back button to print these off twice!

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 I’m a big believer in women taking control of their financial future.  Too many of us trust our partner to do the work…or maybe hold off on buying a house “till I get married”…or break out in a cold sweat when people start throwing around initials like 401K…IRA…529 College Plans.  You’re not expected to be born with this knowledge, I promise.  I subscribed to the the Daily Worth newsletter to see what they had to offer.  I love it.  There’s daily updates about simple ideas and plans to put into action.  If you’re just starting out, there’s a great tutorial, if you’re pretty savvy about your finances, there’s still a lot you may not have seen.  It’s a free-bee signup, go here to subscribe. 

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There’s no automatic shipments here, where you have to go to the hassle of packing up a book you don’t want and sending it back.  They ask you to buy 2 more books sometime during the year.  I picked up “Irish Country Girl” for an additional $4.99.

Sooo…I got 5 bestsellers,  and an overnight bag.  Full retail?  $86.89.  I paid $8.99.  Hah!

Ready to shop?  Click here!

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Thanks, Surviving The Stores!

Here’s a new Cost Plus World Market Printable Coupon
for $10.00 off a $30.00 purchase!
Coupon expires this Sunday, 3.14.10

Thanks, Coupon Gal!

The Princess and The Frog drops next Tuesday, (3.16.10)  You’ll find a coupon to save $10.00 off the Blu-ray/DVD combo pack (valid 3/16 to 3/21) here.   Sneaky inside tip: I’m not seeing the coupon up yet, they say it’ll be posted by this Friday (3.12)   (Editor’s note: we had the illustrators from “Princess and The Frog” in studio with us, and their work is amazing–they sketched “Naveen” and “Dr. Facilier” for us during the interview.  You’re going to love this film!)

$5.00 off $25.00 Rite Aid coupon here
$3.00 off $15.00 Rite Aid coupon here
Then, pair up some of the Gillette coupons from Coupons.com (post below) and use the sale on Huggies Goodnites and Huggies Overnights to pair with the coupons above and the coupons from Coupons.com.  Look how clever you are!

$1.00 off 2 Nestle Eggs candy

.75 cents of Nature’s Own bread or bagels

$2.00 off Huggies Regular diapers

.75 off Huggies wipes

$2.00 off Huggies Goodnites, Overnights, or Pull-Ups diapers

$1.00 off Scott paper towels

$1.00 off Pillsbury cookie dough  (now, if I could only hold off long enough to bake it…)

$1.00 off Hillshire Farms hearty slices lunchmeats

$10.00 off Atari Runway Video Game Sneaky inside tip: you need to redeem this one at Walmart

$5.00 off Leapfrog Tag reading system

$2.00 off Vitalife dog food

$2.00 off Milk Bone dog biscuits

Sneaky inside tip: be sure to hit your back button and print these little fellas twice!

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Since early intervention is key to helping and often even recovering a child from a diagnosis of Autism, the Autism Speaks community’s created a free-bee “100 Day Kit,” which tells parents what to do, where to go, and most importantly helps them find their community so that they’re not alone.  You’re not alone!  Go here for the kit and more information. 

There’s nothing worse than a crying baby who can’t keep down their formula.  I nursed the twins for a year, but I had to supplemen with formula, and I remember that endless process of finding the right thing.  Click here for Enfamil free-bee samples to help the smallest family member eat right.

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Thanks, Coupon Cravings!

Thanks, Money Saving Mom!

This is an amazing week for those of us trying to make a few extra bucks at home.  Vindale Research just opened some new slots!  Vindale’s a great survey company to apply to–they pay $5.00 to $75.00 per survey.  If you’re in whatever mysterious demographic or zip code they need, you are in, baby!  Click here, and good luck!   

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Ever wonder if someone’s looking for you?  Maybe that cute guy in Biology that you never had the nerve to look at?  The Record of the Month Club?  (Hah!  That’s not autobiographical.) With MyLife.com you can find out instantly.  Click here and find out.  Call it reverse spying… 

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Home Depot’s free-bee workshop this Saturday is a little wooden rain gauge.  (Editor’s note: given the level of precipitation we’re suffering through, the gauge would overflow before we opened the door to put it outside.  Bleh.)  The workshop starts at 10am, go here to find your location and to register.

Hey locals, get a look at this:

There’s a free-bee hourlong presentation of short films Saturday (3.6.10) that’s perfect for your little people. Go here for more information about the event, hosted by the SLC Film Center. Note: Seating is first-come, first-served! The scene pictured above is from “The Mantis Parable,” a story about a caterpillar trapped in a bug collector’s jar.

Thanks, One Cheap Chick!

Internet Retailer: perfect for bloggers and small web-based business owners.

Nonprofit times: working non-profit? You’re God’s chosen, since you’re not doing it for the money.  Get all the help you can!

Target Marketing: learn everything about how to target your advertising, from direct marketing to ad placement and branding.

Business Week: crucial information for even the layman on investing and the economy.

Student Group Tour Magazine: are you the poor soul putting band trip together?  Learn all the ins and outs, save a ton of money.

Food Arts: all things food and beverage.  Plus, it’s visually beautiful.

Candy Industry: Yum.  Just…yum.

Want to take a look around to find what interests you?  Click here.

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I was getting so desperate for return address labels that I was actually considering buying them.  Lo and behold, my beloved VistaPrint is saving me!  Get 140  return address labels–customized in any number of ways–for free!  Just pay shipping–and they’re on the way.

Seriously, look how cute these are!

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If you have an existing prescription at Walgreens, click  HERE to request a refill and they’ll bribe you with a $10.00 Walgreens gift card.   Offer is only valid for existing customers who have never refilled a prescription online.  Refill must be requested through THIS promotional page.

If you are shopping around for a new pharmacy, Rite Aid’s fully prepared to buy your love. Print your coupon HERE and get a $25.00 Rite Aid gift card when you transfer a prescription.

Thanks, Moms By Heart!

Umm…just a hint?  Do the spray-on, okay?

Thanks, The Freebie Blogger!

Look, your kids aren’t the only ones who want to go organic.  See that accusing stare from Fluffy?  Go here to sign up for the Halo email newsletter.  After you do… you’ll receive an email with a link to a printable coupon for 2 Cans of FREE Dog Food!  Good mommy, good mommy!  Who’s a good mommy!

Thanks, The Frugal Girls!

Thanks, Moms By Heart!

If you’re looking for some new music, become a fan of iTunes on Facebook and you can download 15 FREE Mp3 songs.  This will also work for those of you who are already iTunes fans as well.  The 15 FREE songs are from a House of Soul sampler, including music from Sugarman Three, Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings, Budos Band, Lee Fields & more. It’s a nice way to check out some new music.

Thanks, Thrifty Northwest Mom!

Corner Bakery Cafe is giving away a free-bee breakfast Panini to 15,000 Facebook fans! Just go here and submit your full name and mailing address and you’ll receive your free Panini coupon in the mail if you’re one of the first 15,000.  Sweet!  We just got a Corner Bakery Cafe here in SLC!

Thanks, Money Saving Mom!

I break out in a cold sweat when there’s a girl birthday party invite from someone in the twin’s class.  Now that I’m surrounded by boys, I have zero understanding of what girls like.  My niece did kindly tell me that this pink Disney MP3 player would be, as she said, “a completely rocking birthday score, Auntie.”  How lucky that you can pick it up right now for $8.99 and free-bee shipping, down from $29.99!  Clever you!

Disney Mix Micro Pink MP3: $8.99
FREE Shipping (no minimum required)
*This player also includes the High School Music MP3 card!

Thanks, Coupon Cravings!