Todd and Erin "That Went Well..." » husbands

“Hey, Honey, Should I Have a Face Lift or a Bust Enhancement?”

Erin (and sometimes The Todd) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 19:32:00 +0000

NEW from Todd:

Men, there are some questions that you should NEVER answer.

It’s a no-win situation. The only way out is to use the classic “I love you just the way you are,” line, even if in your mind you are picturing your wife’s perky new form. These types of questions are a trap that no man can escape. It’s like if you were kidnapped and you were asked, “do you want to be shot in the head or the chest?” You just can’t win.

Here’s a few more questions you should never answer:

“Which one of my sisters is the hottest?”

“If I died, which one of our friends would you be interested in?”

And, the standard: “does this make my butt look fat?”

Now, the obvious answer is “no!” But, the timing of the answer to the question is the key. The time span between the question and your answer should only be able to be measured by a group of scientists in a secret underground bunker under the Nevada desert.

So, ladies, please help us men out. If you have more questions that men should NEVER answer, please add them here, (unless it violates some sacred estrogren pact.)

Thanks, Todd

Todd, the Basement Plague Demon

Erin (and sometimes The Todd) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:09:00 +0000

“Play da movie!” “Ya, play!” Anyone who’s got “Shrek” on dvd is peeing their pants right now…

So, The Todd is sick today, crouching miserably in our basement bedroom. He came down with what we thought was a cold yesterday until the whole nausea, high temperature, body aches, “I feel like someone’s beaten my entire body with a crowbar” feeling. Two of our co-workers are out of the station with Swine Flu…so this changed things. I would like to tell you that I sent the twins away for their safety, put on my Florence Nightingale dress and selflessly cared for my One True Love all night while mopping his fevered brow.

Okay. Well.

First, that Florence Nightingale dress is REALLY hot and our air conditioning isn’t that great and my back starts to break out when I sweat, and…y’know.

Secondly, The Todd sick is one thing. He is quiet. He is noble. (Editor’s note: we’re now on Day Three of the Basement Plague Demon and both the quietness and nobility is gone. I took down a pitcher of ice water last night with sliced limes and a nice little note. He ripped off his sleeping mask and howled “WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING ME?”) The twins sick is much closer to the image of the Black Plague during the Middle Ages when the guys would come around with the cart yelling “bring out yer dead!”

Thirdly, we’ve been mocking the whole Swine Flu scare big time on the show. This knocks out the whole family, and I’ve got some serious backpedaling to do. So yes, you will see the yellow police tape on the front door today, and if that doesn’t keep everyone away I’ll paint it with lamb’s blood or something.

And you wonder why even my own mother loves him more than me…

Erin (and sometimes The Todd) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:27:00 +0000

The Todd invited my dad over for dinner tonight and sent him home with a big care package of pot roast. When I dropped my sister Jenne off after her birthday dinner, he’d left her a birthday present on the porch. At home, the house was spotless and he was spending quality time with the twins (that one’s Zachie, by the way.) Ladies and gentlemen, he is not simply The Todd, he is the UBER Todd!